How to Prepare Your Older Child For A New Baby

Having a new baby is an exciting time, but it can be a big adjustment for your older children. We look at how to tell your toddler you are pregnant, how to prepare your older child for a new baby and tips for managing the transition for a happy household all round.

How To Tell Your Toddler You Are Pregnant

How to tell your toddler you are pregnant depends on their age and level of understanding. Use simple, age-appropriate language and phrases they will be able to grasp and be positive and reassuring. It might help if you read a book together to help them visualise it better. Remember that you know them best and know what will work best.

It is up to you when you tell them about the pregnancy and when you feel comfortable with them knowing the news. You might want to wait until there are physical changes taking place like your baby bump being visible, or when you have a scan photo, which will help make it seem more real for them.

Your toddler might be excited, they might be confused or they might not react at all. Don’t be upset if you don’t have the reaction you’d expect. Even older children can take a while to process and understand the news. This is very normal.

If your toddler attends a nursery or school, make sure you tell their care provider as it’s likely they will have books about new siblings everyone can read together.

Try not to tell your toddler any details you want kept secret like the baby’s sex or name, to avoid them accidentally telling people at random!

How To Prepare A Toddler For A New Baby - During Your Pregnancy

There are some simple ways you can introduce the idea of a new baby to your toddler during your pregnancy, to help prepare your toddler for the new arrival and get them used to the upcoming changes.

Read Books About Pregnancy And Babies Together

Books are a helpful way of introducing the concept of your pregnancy and the new baby to a toddler. Reading with your toddler will help explain what is happening in simple, age appropriate language and pictures.

Here are our favourite toddler books that discuss themes around pregnancy and new babies:

• Peppa Pig: Peppa and the New Baby and Peppa Pig: Peppa's New Baby Sister
• Topsy and Tim: The New Baby by Jean Adamson
• There's A House Inside My Mummy by Giles Andreae
• Billy and the Baby by Tony Bradman

Talk About What’s Going To Happen When The Baby Arrives

Prepare your toddler for the new baby by discussing what new babies are like. If your toddler has a favourite soft toy or baby doll, you can both practise with the doll to demonstrate what caring for the baby will look like.

Talk ahead of time to your toddler about what the plan is for when you go in to labour. If you are having a hospital delivery, let your toddler know who will look after them and where they will be. You can also discuss where and when they will meet the baby, be it at the hospital or at home.

Involve Your Toddler In The Pregnancy

Involve your toddler in your pregnancy as much as possible. You might want to have a nickname for the baby, or a special song you can sing together. Depending on your toddlers age and the rules at your local hospital, you might even take them along to later pregnancy scans (if you feel comfortable to do so).

Your toddler could also help you on a practical level by getting the baby’s things ready, by choosing new toys, helping to prepare their room and clothes or picking out baby books. This will help them feel involved and make it a more tangible experience for them.

Make Any Changes For Your Older Child Ahead Of Time

Does the new baby’s arrival mean changes for your toddler around your house? It’s best to do these ahead of time. If you’re switching things up, for example moving your toddler to a bigger room so the baby can have a smaller room for their nursery, or moving your toddler from a cot to a bed, do this ahead of your due date so they have time to get used to the changes and won’t associate any negative feelings with the baby

Make any changes as exciting a process as possible, and get them as involved as much as you can. They can help pick new paint colours or wallpaper and have a say in the new layout in the room, or choose bedding for a new bed.

Pick Out A Present For The Baby Together

It can help the bonding experience if your older child picks out a small present for the baby, which you can wrap together and then give to them one they are here. It can also help to buy a present for the older child ‘from the baby’ which will add to the excitement when they are born.

Tips for Introducing The Baby To Your Toddler – One The Baby Is Here

Plan How Your Baby And Toddler Will Meet

Make a plan for how your older children and baby will meet ahead of time. If you’re having a hospital birth, then your older children may come to the hospital to visit you, or you may want to wait till you are at home. Wherever they are meeting the baby, some experts recommend having the baby in its cot when your older child arrives, so you can both ‘discover’ them.

The older sibling can also bring the present they’ve picked out, and you can give them a present from the baby too. Make sure it is a happy and memorable experience as possible for your older children.

Be Positive With Your Toddler

Use positive language to set boundaries and teach your toddler how to care for the baby, for example talking about using kind or gentle hands.

While it feels like you might spend a lot of time telling the toddler to watch the baby’s head, try and use positive reinforcement wherever possible and praise what they are doing well.

Your toddler might not react to the baby’s arrival in the way you’d expect, but make sure you validate their feelings. While the arrival of a new baby might make your older child suddenly seem enormous, remember they are still small too!

Involve Your Toddler With The New Baby

Your toddler will feel more involved if they are allowed to help with the baby, in small practical ways. They could be responsible for fetching baby items, or reading a book with the baby. They might be keen to get more involved than you’d like, or don’t want to be involved at all – these reactions are normal.

Involving Your Toddler If You’re Breastfeeding

If you are planning to breastfeed the new baby, make sure your toddler feels involved and doesn’t feel left out during feeding time. Use breastfeeding as an occasion for everyone to snuggle on the sofa together and watch an episode of your toddler’s favourite TV programme. You might have special toys that come out when you’re feeding, or this might be a good time for crafting or colouring – anything to make it more fun for them.

Make Dedicated Time For Your Older Child

Even though a lot of your time will be taken up with the baby, and you’ll be tired, it is important to still spend dedicated one-to-one time with your toddler. Aim spend a block of time together each day, without the baby. This could be during nap time, when the baby is sleeping, or when another adult is around. Read books together or play their favourite game, making sure it’s just the two of you.

The content of this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health professional regarding any medical condition. While every care is taken to ensure the accuracy of the information presented in the blog and to describe best generally accepted current practices we cannot accept any liability for errors or omissions or for any consequences from application of the information given.