Why being a working mum doesn't make you a bad mum

Blogger Eilidh from Mummy and Monkeys went back to work because she had to - but don't judge her because of that, she says...

Do you feel guilty for being a working mum? Are you envious of mums who get to stay at home with their children? I can say yes to both of these questions. I've worked part time since I had my first child as a primary teacher and I know how hard it is to juggle everything. The guilt that you feel. The firsts that you miss. The events that you can't attend. The nights that you cry yourself to sleep with having to leave your baby or child.

I had to work when we had my first, I was 23 and we couldn't afford for me not to work. With my second I was able to do less hours. Then I became a single mum and I had to up my hours. I had a difficult decision to make at this point as my babies needed me. But they also needed me to keep a roof over their heads. To be able to buy food, clothes and have money to do things with them. I wasn't getting any maintenance and so I had to do it all myself. Should I feel guilty for doing that? No, but I did!

I would love to be able to be a stay at home mum. To not miss the first steps and maybe first words. To be able to go to every school assembly and sports event. To be able to take and pick up my boys from pre-school and school. To be the one that my baby girl will wake up to from a nap and have sleepy cuddles with.

In an ideal world I would do a job that fitted around my family, my children more. Enabling me to do these things and still exercise my brain and bring in money. However I've yet to come across one.

Most families, in current times, need more than one salary to pay the increasing costs of living. Sometimes working just for the extra couple of hundred pounds a month after paying the ridiculous cost of childcare because they can't do without. Then there are the mums who want to work, who enjoy their jobs, their career. Who are better mums as a result of being happy. As women we have been brought up to believe we can have it all, but in reality it's so hard.

I’ve read things online slamming working mums that have infuriated me. Being a working mum does not make you a bad mum. It does not automatically mean your kids are missing out. It means you are doing the best for you, your family and therefore your child.

Are you a working mum or a stay-at-home mum? What made you decide?

Image: DTTSP

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