With Mother's Day having just passed, there has been a plethora of advice flooding social networks and television adverts regarding what to buy your beloved mother. But what's the worst gift for mums you could possibly give, or receive - a fluorescent Nelson Mandela apron, an open box of cereal, perineum massage oil...? Here's new TalkMum blogger Marissa from Little Rascal Reviews:
I'm aware that when it comes to presents, it's "...the thought that counts" but we all secretly know that's the stock excuse for people who can't be bothered to think about what someone would actually like to receive. To be honest, I'd prefer a well-written personal card rather than having to expend time and energy working out how to "get rid of" (in The Sopranos sense) a rubbish present without hurting anyone's feelings. I also realise I've committed myself to having to buy beautiful, practical gifts for my loved ones for the rest of my life...*rapidly stuffs JML Shower Feet back into box*
I wanted to take a fresh approach and attempt to impart advice as to what NOT to buy - either for your mum or as a present for a new mum. This got me thinking about some of the more unusual gifts that I've heard of - as follows:
- After the birth of my son, I received a gift I'd given to someone else's child, back from that same person *if you're reading this and thinking “Oh no, was this me?” then it probably was*! This is all manner of wrong. Firstly, it meant I failed in my present-giving efforts (ok, so I'm not perfect 100% of the time) but it also highlights the potential pitfalls of present-drawer maintenance. This level of management should only be undertaken by those organised enough to label each unwanted gift with its original 'gifter'. In case you're curious, I do employ a strategic system to avoid such amateur mishaps.
- On a recent trip to visit L, she unwrapped a housewarming gift someone had just dropped off. To her surprise a florescent orange apron sporting hundreds of identical pictures of Nelson Mandela's face revealed itself...Sometimes, there are no words. Some give their dates flowers, others buy underwear, someone bought LJ an actual grenade! Nothing says romance like heavy-duty explosives.
- A house guest, who shall remain nameless, once gave me an opened box of cereal (as they'd decided “it's not my cup of tea”) on arriving for Sunday lunch. I wouldn't have minded but this was considered a suitable substitute for the customary bottle of wine *just as Iceland party favourites will become a suitable substitute for the home cooked gourmet feast you received on your last visit*.
- My friend K recently discovered much hilarity in the Perineum Massage Oil bought for her birthday by her parents. Ever the grateful daughter, she asked her Mum why she'd bought it "For you to rub into your tummy of course" she replied. Apparently she mistook it for stretch mark cream. Following a graphic explanation of its purpose by K and a close call 'sick in mouth' by K's Dad I saw the silver lining that they didn't ask for it back!