Trusting your instincts as a new mum

Blogger Fozia from Muslim Mummy says that being a new mum brings a whole host of new emotions - and advice from others - so it's important to listen to your instincts...

Becoming a mum is one of the most daunting experiences of your life. A helpless, small human being is dependant on you for their every need. When they are awake, and even when they are asleep, they need you.

So it doesn’t always help when people often offer unwanted advice, no matter how well meaning their intentions are.

Now I have an Asian background, and trust me some of the Asian aunties feel they have a right to comment on almost anything and everything. Which can annoy you, and that is putting it mildly. Pretty much as soon as you have given birth, they descend on you to offer their congratulations and usually unwanted, backdated advice. And often the advice from different aunties can be conflicting.

You are tired, scared that you are going to do everything wrong. So what do you do?

1. If you don’t want any visitors then make it clear to them. Ask them to wait a few days
2. If you are given advice that you are not comfortable with, then don’t follow it. Trust your own instincts too.
3. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, then talk to someone. It’s a big thing becoming a parent for the first time and you are bound to have a few wobbles along the way for the first year and even beyond.
4. If you are unsure about something then ask, even if you feel the question is stupid….there is no such thing as a stupid question.
5. Don’t ever be made to feel guilty about any choices that you have made for your child. i.e. bottle feeding versus breastfeeding, co-sleeping or not co-sleeping. It is your child and your decision.
6. Take each day as it comes, enjoy your time with your newborn.
7. If you are struggling then ask for help. There is no shame at all in asking for help, you are not failing as a parent.
8. And finally you have to take some time out for yourself. Once you have established some kind of routine, or even sooner, try to pamper yourself. You have to look after yourself aswell.

You will be given lots of advice and tips from people. But you need to do what you are comfortable with. There is a lot to be said for a ‘mother's instincts’.

Do you think people are too quick to offer new mums advice? Or do you think the more the better? Let us know by commenting below or tweeting us @Talkmum.

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