Am I doing it right? Do I ever do it right? What is right? How could I get it wrong? So many questions that you ask yourself everyday, every decision and at every turn.
I remember when Noah was a baby and I had visits from health visitors, midwives and family. At every visit there was something else that I had to think about and another piece of advice that I was given. What was the right advice though? Who should I listen to? Different people give different advice, from one professional to the next and then family on top - it can get on top of you!
I was given advice about breast feeding, changing and bottle feeding from my midwife. It was completely different from the advise given by the health visitor. Their opinions massively differed about how to put Noah to bed at night, which was actually a big problem - in the end the confilcting advice was making me sad, I was questioning everything and feeling like I wasn't doing it right.
It took my mum to make me see things for how they should be and it's the advice I stick to until this day. She told me, "Follow your instincts as you will always know what's right and what's not". She was right, I worried for weeks when Noah was a baby that if I put him to bed on his front all these bad things would happen. He wouldn't sleep on his back, so I never got any sleep! During the day I would put him on his front and he would nap really well, I knew that's how he was comfortable and that's how he wanted to sleep - I can't explain it! It's just a feeling I had. Then mum told me to trust myself and my instincts and I went for it: I put Noah to bed on his tummy and hey presto he slept for 12 hours without a break, at 8 weeks! It was magical, I felt totally amazing and happy because I'd done what I thought was right, I'd followed my maternal instincts and it worked!
Now, I do the same with Isla and I never ask for help from others, I talk to other mums and other friends/family, but I always follow my instincts and to this day they have never let me down...
Has anyone else had these kind of feelings? second guessing yourself at every descision? What did you do to overcome it?